With the upcoming release of Fallout 4, I went full on nostalgia mode. Some people claim they are the biggest Fallout fans and others know everything, but I claim to have done some of the weirdest s***. Although these are all stories, I have a good reason why there’s no proof of these; see number 5. That and it was 2008/9 and I was a highschooler with no knowledge of screen shots or videos. Anyways! BEWARE! *THERE IS SOME NAUGHTY LANGUAGE*
1. Railway Rifle Madness
I go to either Tenpenny or Megaton and bust out ol’ trustworthy (not to be confused with Ol’ Painless), the Railway Rifle. The RR fires railway spikes at or around stupid fast. So fast in fact that it removes appendages and attaches them to walls. Example:
This amazing feature has proven time and time again that this is and always will be one of the most unintentionally funny weapons in video game history. My personal favorite thing to do is hit up the aforementioned locations and see if you can get every head in town on one wall and pile the bodies up below it. This can be quite a challenge as some people attack you and some run away.
I am a twisted young man.
Oh, and have stimpacks.
2. Suicidal Tendencies
In Rivet City there is a tortured soul standing above the the entrance debating whether or not to let it all end. You can help speed it up…
I had over 15 characters, each with names corresponding to their character traits. Here’s some favorites:
Slim D*ck Johnson – Western themed, heavy usage of Lincoln’s Repeater and hat.
Quick Draw McGraw – Magnums only. Vats only. No sneaking.
S***Head – Worst character ever. I used strictly agility and perception with the stats as low as possible and only chose perks that made no difference.
Abraham Lincoln – Exacted revenge on innocent people by blasting them in the back of the head with a revolver.
Admiral A**hole – Did everything to make people hate him. Every evil possibility I could possibly find.
Again, I wish I had photos, but there is a good reason why I don’t have them. Again, see number 5. 😉
I may or may not have had some odd collections throughout my playthroughs.
Slim D*ck collected plungers in his megaton apartment. Not a bunch of plungers, not a lot, but all of them. I had every non-respawning plunger in the wasteland. I had access to the wiki and scoured every place in search for plungers. (Yes, I know about the bloody plunger room.)
Admiral A**hole had mugs strewn across his Tenpenny penthouse. The only problem was that there was so much to render that my Xbox would freeze every time I tried to enter…
Speaking of freezing…
5. I Made a Chuck Norris Character That Destroyed my First Xbox
Yes, this is true; I have sources that can verify.
I created a Chuck Norris character who used nothing but his fists. By level 5 he had unarmed up to 100. I could jaw someone and their skull would explode like a fresh watermelon hit by Gallagher.
Until one fateful day…
I was walking through the wasteland one day with that annoying kid from Little Lamplight who was headed towards Big Town. Along the way, I did some exploring as any wanderer would in the game and found myself about 4 hours and 3 levels deep, without a save.
Chuck happened to get stuck in a rock, where jumping, walking, spinning, etc. had no effect on his position and couldn’t seem to unlock him from his placement. I had the bright idea of pointing at the ground and taking a swing and at that moment it froze, and I mean FROZE. It played the same glitchy sound until I unplugged it from the wall, and even then it continued for a minute because the a/c chord has electrical storage. I plugged her back in and hit power.
Black screen. No sound.
I tried everything from HDMI, Component, YWR, you name it. I forfeited and called Microsoft. Unfortunately, they didn’t believe my story AND my Xbox was past the warranty date by 2 weeks.
Rule of Thumb: Never make Chuck Norris ever. Glitches do not abide by his immense power.